This class we have attempted to look deep within ourselves. Most people feel alone at some points in their lives. Some people even have the feeling of abandonment. Perhaps, the feeling of abandoning yourself by yourself? Letting others taking control over you?
Sometimes the feelings are there for reasons that seem obvious and real, for example:
- the aftermath of a painful break-up of a romantic relationship
- a chronic health problem that seems to sap our vitality and makes us feel less fun to be with
- unrequited love or passion, or simply wanting an intimate and sexual relationship and failing to find one
- “the morning after” meaningless sex that did not deliver the emotions you hoped for
- the feeling of disillusionment after having shared too much with someone who doesn’t understand
- simply having no-one to turn to when life gets tough
You could probably add quite a few more situations to this list yourself, because everyone’s experience of feeling alone is slightly different. But – in some ways – this fact holds the key to understanding what causes us to feel alone. And, once we understand such a powerful emotion, it becomes so much easier to learn to fear it less and to recognise that you CAN do something to change your feelings.
I’ve said that there are many reasons for feeling alone, but perhaps there is really only one cause. Loneliness sets in when we cannot – for whatever reason – share our thoughts and feelings with someone whom we trust, and who we know will care. Care enough to listen to what we are saying, even if he or she is busy. Care enough to try to understand what we feel and why. Care enough to empathise rather than merely offer sympathy or condolence, worst off Pity.
Being alone and feeling alone are not the same things; not by a long way. Being alone can, for most of us, be very invigorating, but only for some of the time. For how much of the time varies significantly between people – one woman may think it idyllic to spend two weeks alone on a small Greek island with only a few books for company, another may become bored if she finds herself alone at home for a few hours once the kids are safely dropped off at school.
Most of us can handle some time alone providing that it’s our choice, or a part of our lives we consider “normal”. But very few of us would ever want to feel alone.
Feeling alone is largely created by your own perception of not being “connected” to the people around you. “Connected” includes mutual trust in a relationship. The great thing about this is that you can influence this perception, and there are some techniques that help you to do so which we have learnt in our class.
To sign off, here are some quotes to sweeten our life:
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha
“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” – Barbara De Angelis
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”– Oscar Wilde
With Love & Light