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October 2012 Connective Goal Setting Session – Managing Relationship with Parents

Hello Goal-Setters,

Last class we have turned from Love for our partners to Love for our family. Sometimes, the challenge we faced in our love-life can be due to our deep connected wounds, fear, rejection or any negative feelings we received from our family members, especially our parents. 

Family relationships are the foundation of your life. They provide you with some of your greatest growth opportunities as you are challenged to be better parents, spouses and Children.

 Here are a few tips on how to manage any future challenges you may face as a family:

1. Be patient.

In love and in any relationship, patience is very necessary. It takes time for people to learn, grow and change. So whether it’s you, your spouse, your parents or one of your children who is struggling the most, everyone in the family needs to give that person, and the family as a whole, time to grow. People are often quick to throw in the towel or assume that something can’t be resolved, but when it comes to marriage, parenthood, Child-hood you owe it to yourself and your family members to give your relationships time to blossom.

2. Be creative.
Eventually, everyone struggles in their relationships and wonders what to do next. Often people assume a situation can’t be changed because what they tried didn’t work, when in fact, they still need to try something else. You have to be creative when it comes to thinking of new solutions to problems with your spouse, your parents or your children. Different things work for different people. So when one strategy doesn’t work, try another, until you find the one that works for you.

3. Be realistic.
Be aware that many of the problems discussed here are totally common and normal. Family life is full of unique challenges.So be realistic about the fact that you are always going to be “working” on some issue and facing some sort of obstacle. If you have a strong and loving family, you will understand and know that you can overcome each obstacle as it comes.

Life is not a destination, it’s a journey, and your family is that group of people who will travel the distance with you. As with all things, change is the only constant, so you will always be working to try new approaches and make things better. Embrace that challenge! Make your family relationships as strong as you can because at different times during the journey, you may struggle, and they can be the ones who will help you back up and keep you going (and you can do the same for them).

Hug it out!
My questions to you: What family relationship have you repaired recently? How did you reconnect?

I shall leave you with my favourite quote: 

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.” 

With Love & Light

Katherine Goh

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